Real life and reading

There are a lot of things that are easier to take in a book than they are in real life.  Tragedy, pain, suffering, rebelliousness, ethical questions are all a bit lighter on the soul when they are hypothetical instead of very real and happening to people you know and love. 

My life has been largely untouched by significant tragedies.  I do not boast in the this but realize that life is the most unpredictable thing and, therefore, I simply live each moment fully and try not to worry about that which I don't control (easier said than done, right?).  But when our little friend was struck by a recycling truck while alighting from her school bus and is in serious but stable condition, it seems like the world has flipped over and I want to go back to the moment before it happened--for her sake, for the family's sake, for the bus driver's sake and for the sake of the truck driver.  One minute before the bottom dropped out of their world.  One minute before things changed irrevocably.  

This is the moment when I want to hide in my books, retreat into worlds that aren't real and therefore aren't causing soul-crushing pain.  I want to be the 9 year old listening to Little Women as an audio book and the 16 year old secretly staying up until 2 am to finish whatever love story I was devouring.  I, like anyone, can use books to escape.  To disappear.  To find reprieve when all seems to painful.  And there is nothing wrong with having an outlet--we all need one--but there is something up if the only reason to read is to escape. 

But reading can also help us engage worlds, stories and people we don't know.  This is perhaps the more important function of reading--to give voice to stories and ideas that need to be heard.  For this reason I have branched in non-fiction--letting situations I would generally avoid because they are painful, unpleasant or ugly speak into my life and stretch me.  Thankfully all non-fiction isn't super serious (read the surprisingly delightful Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? and other concerns by Mindy Kaling) but I try to engage some that is super serious so that reading not only allows me to escape into the romance I love so much and the mythical worlds I find enticing but also teaches me to be a better human, to handle the painful moments better, to live with perspective and balance in a world that feels topsy turvy.

We are praying and hoping deeply for our little friend, Lydia.  Her story is real and will be told, I trust, with an incredible outcome.  But for now we wait and ponder how to help.   All I can do now is try not to escape but engage.  Reading can do both of these -- and there is a moment for each.  How I wish escape and fun were for now, but it is not that time.  Now is the time to engage, learn and grow.  And pray, pray, pray.