A Tired Month and a Hopeful Month

I have definitely been letting down my side of this blogging bargain -- the part where you read what I write...clearly I haven't been writing.  A few things have happened -- nothing major, just life-- but things that have slowed my hands and my eyes.  Things that are good even: seeing people, spending time with friends, late nights and early mornings.  But things that tire me out, things that change my focus, things that capture my heart.  All good, not bad.  But busy.  Busy so much that I stopped reading.  I stopped reading. 

I went to book club in November and had read not one single word of the book.  Not one.  And, in case you wondered, I'm that kid that did her homework and met deadlines.  I don't go to book club unprepared, let alone unread.  I just don't.  But, then in November, I did. My Kindle sat with lots of choices, I had fresh new books from the store.   But I was tired.  Good tired, but tired nonetheless.  

Realizing I had let go of reading made me feel a little lost.  Adrift.  Unanchored.  And while faith is my great anchor, my tree and my mountain, reading (in all forms) keeps me steady.  Refreshes me and stills me.  It moves me between worlds, ends my day and restores my soul.  Reading is my outlet.  Always has been.   I was in a good rhythm this fall -- reading lots, exploring different genres, carving time out during my day to ground myself.  But when a good rhythm gets broken it is hard to reinstate (read: exercise).  So I have been pushing myself to read for 5 minutes at night or during the day.  Trying to get my head back into the space where it flourishes rather than sleeps.  I still need more sleep; I'd still always choose relationship over convenience and I'd still rather sacrifice a bit of me to be with people.  But I am going to be more careful for myself and making space for what builds me up.  

So now, I'm going to go read a bit.  I've actually been reading sci-fi (WHAT?!?).  If I thought non-fiction was outside my comfort circle, well, sci-fi is practically a foreign language.  But I have, with the help of friends, discovered some gems. More on those soon.

Merry Christmas.  I hope to write again soon, but if not, I hope this season brings small, profound measures of peace and hope in your world.  I do hope, always, for humanity.  I hope for pain to be comforted, thirst to be quenched and peace to be restored.  And my hope is more certainly for you.

Love and peace to all.